needs to put on a smile.
today is second day of school, i whole day black face.
aiya, not that i don't know, but i know clearly i shouldn't put on such an irritating face that turns people off. but i am seriously not in the mood what.. i am just not in the mood to get high, get friendly, happy, lively.. i miss my friends, i miss almost everything about secondary school. i can't get my mind, my body and soul out of sec school, i guess i'm just not ready, very unprepared to enter this new phase of life. so much so that i feel that i don't want to go to school. i used to love going to school so much, because though studying was really quite dreadful, it ended off well as i had really good friends. we study together, we eat together, laugh together, stress together and pick ourselves up together. all the support from one another turned the dread just somehow converted into anticipation. today after dismissal, i stood outside the hall and felt as though i need to wait for people. know why?? the bunch of us, we ALWAYS wait for one another to dilly dally, to drag, to delay, before we gather all of us and move on to the next destination in school. even though it often got us rushing into classrooms, into labs, into hall, we still waited for one another, sometimes getting impatient, sometimes just laughed it off, sometimes give a cheeky giggle when getting reprimanded 'cause this gang of us were late, AGAIN.
but all these are just such wonderful memories, aren't they? okay, actually i missed my point. i'm trying to say, just now after dismissal, i felt as if i was waiting for my friends to appear. subconsciously i thought i was waiting for Alvin and gang. seriously, i feel very sad. this sad thing, i thought i've gotten over it, ready to go to a new place to start a new beginning. i thought so, but no, i was wrong. sitting in the very unfamiliar canteen today, seeing countless unfamiliar faces and uniform, canteen stall vendors that are so strangers.. the cleaners and vendors aunties uncles in PRSS are all like my friends you know!! sighh, we say Hi every day with so much glee and i enjoy this familiarity a lot. even the known to be irritating-and-naggy old school keeper uncle is like my friend, one of those which i'ld say "yo!" to leh... thinking about all these that are not supposed to be in my mind this afternoon made me feel like crying, like seriously, they made my eyes teary. :/

alright... i know i know.. enough is enough, all these thoughts that are making me dread JC life should come to an end. Even if its not to come to a halt immediately, it should really gradually leave my brain. because i know its stopping me from making new friends, its making me dislike school, and of course its definitely not good. AND, i'm sure my beloved friends would not want to see me friendless in school just because i miss them, and the good old times a lot a lot. yes, they would want to see me happy and enjoying school like they will.

come on.. please, at least put on a smile. i need to learn how to make new friends, i need to start a new life, i need to get on with life and get a life by not being dumb, stop harping on to our beautiful past. it will stay in our hearts, and occasionally we'll retrieve these wonderful memories, talk about it, hopefully laugh heartily about those again.
thank you for scolding me ya. :P pls do so if i ever switch back to this unnecessary mode again can.
Yes, Miss Teo, put on a smile, pull off that face so dull. Its time to make friends.
But, can i do so after we get into our civics group? ahh, whatever, shall see how it goes on Monday. Dear God.. why this situation? i really don't like, really. :''(

<3

class gang! see.. got time take picture, late for lesson. :p

hungry@ 10:01 pm