sighh.. God, what's my destiny? what are your perfect plans for me?
sometimes, life sucks. sometimes, life is just alright. but life isn't good anymore.
what's in for me? Reaching year 2008, i was told this year will be different,
and my life will be changed drastically.
i really dont' know what to expect. very soon, year 2008 will be gone.
i'm very excited to know what's going to change, but on the other hand, i'm afraid:/
yet, this year is a year filled with insecurity.
i look back, and think back. i wonder what've been happening to me.
ppl move foward with zeal and enthusiasm, but i walk backwards instead.

where am i going? ahhhh. DDD: FAITH. mine is like a rollar coaster.
ppl change, and i believe i've changed as well.
where's my undying fighting spirit? where's my child-like heart?
i know, my heart has hardened.
really, for the past few months, i know it so clearly..
my heart, it's getting harder and harder day by day.
church, was once a place i look foward to going to,
cos i'm excited to go there and try nurture good relationships with ppl.
but now, i really give up okay? quite and very pointless.
same thing, ppl move towards stronger bonds, but i feel more and more drifted.
sorry lah, i'm really not that type that can click with you guys.

i really changed, because i don't want to care anymore.!
i would still care, but surely not as much lah.
this life, hmm... my heart has really hardened.
i'm not a good girl, good friend,good sister, good daughter,good child of God anymore.
& i feel like cutting out my heart, cus it's evil, it's black, it's heartless.
it has hardened.

one more step, and i'll fall off the cliff.
Satan will push me down, but God will carry me up.
i know... but i cannot connect... i'm so confused,
and i've been this confused since the start of year 2008.
why? why am i so freaking different.
friendships...kinships...relationships... what the heck is all these.

i'm so getting nowhere, and i don't know who to turn to.
don't tell me it's you. God, i'm very very sorry. ):
slap me, and the best thing is to bring everything to a stop. PLEASE?
i'm evil can!!

hungry@ 8:03 pm